Forget the grass, tear down the fence.

I so rarely get a chance to connect with people on a level that truly interests me. Day in, day out it seems to me that most people prefer to drag on in some zombie state of ignorance. I, however, am far more interested in examining our human condition down to its deepest levels. I find that this puts me at odds with most people, who prefer not to dwell on such issues, as this can lead to many negative effects on the psyche. These negative effects have plagued me my entire life. I have spent the last twenty years using women as an emotional crutch, while I drag myself through the mud of “what does it all mean?”

So I’ve got to say that I must have had my head up my ass, as I just realized that a very close friend of mine of sixteen years shares my interest of introspection.

It began as I started using him as a bounce card for my writing. I would send him new questions, and he would always have questions. These questions would ultimately lead to discussion completely unrelated to my work. Today, after one of these familiar phone conversations, I received this text message:

“I am taking a walk in your shoes, and it helps.”

Honestly, at the time, I didn’t have a clue what he was referring to. But one phone call later would bring more enlightenment than either of us expected. First let me say that this is a friend of whom I respect greater than most. He works a management position in a large corporate retail chain, is a husband, and a father to three. Most of my memories of him are from our miss spent youth, so I’m always taken by the man he has become. And often, I find myself in a state of self-pitying lamentation on the life I’ve never been able to grasp that he so effortlessly wields. So when he explained the meaning behind his text, it made me begin to rethink the life I live, and the role I play in the universe.

“I went to lunch by myself, today, and just thought. It was nice.”

My friend never has time to himself. Never has a chance to examine the problems inside of himself. He is a man of obligations to others. And yet, I’m the one who is always crying.

But his response to this surprised me. He seemed to respect the fact that I live with demons that I wrestle with everyday, and made me aware of the fact that I always over come them. And he learns from me.

Today, sir, I learned from you.

I live my life, you live yours. Neither is better or worse. We come together and share, and in that way, we make each other that much more whole.

Thank you, for being you.


-Darrell C. Hazelrig